Train Up a Child

by Mathew Block

A month ago my daughter celebrated her fourth birthday. A few months earlier my son turned two. As my children get older, I increasingly find myself pondering the words of Proverbs: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when is old he will not depart from it” (22:6).

And yet, departing from the faith has become the default position today for many young people. At a conference in Winnipeg earlier this year, I heard a presentation by the sociologist Sarah Wilkins-Laflamme about the rise of the non-religious in Canada. Her research tells us what those of us in the Church have known for some time: active participation in religion is in deep decline.

It’s not that young people today are all atheists. The number of Canadians aged 18-35 who firmly deny belief in God in favour of a secular, materialistic universe remains at about 14 percent. But there aren’t many more people who believe in God in a way that is firmly grounded in the teachings of their religious affiliation either: just 22 percent.

Most people live in the mushy-middle: 26 percent “believe in God, but in my own way”; eight percent believe in a higher power but don’t necessarily call it God; and another 18 percent aren’t sure whether they believe in a higher power but do believe in a mysterious, interconnected universe. A further nine percent haven’t made up their minds yet about God while four percent have never really thought about religion at all. (Statistics are taken from portions of the 2019 Millennial Trends Survey, selections of which have been published on social media by Wilkins-LaFlamme.)

How did we get here? The major factor seems to be a lack of consistent exposure to religion when younger. In earlier research, Wilkins-Laflamme and her colleague Joel Thiessen have demonstrated that regular participation and education in a religious tradition are major factors in predicting religious participation when a child grows up. The more regularly faith formation takes place, the more likely a child is to grow up to be faithful.

Perhaps that’s not surprising. But as the father of two little children—two children I want desperately to grow up to be faithful Christians—it is certainly a challenge. In the past, Christians in the West could count on wider society to reinforce Christian faith and morality. Those days are long gone. Society is increasingly hostile to public expressions of faith (consider recent fights over Trinity Western University’s law school or the challenges facing Christian physicians who do not want to be a party to assisted suicide). Public school systems regularly undermine traditional Christian morality on issues like sexuality and gender. So what is a parent to do?

The answer in part is to recognize that Christian formation begins in the home—not just in church. God tells the Israelites in the Book of Deuteronomy that they must make study of His Word a regular part of family life. “These words that I command you today shall be on your heart,” God says. “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise” (6:6-7, cf. 11:18-19).

Christian formation begins in the home—not just in church.

God’s Word creates and sustains faith (Romans 10:17). It’s vital then that we make time in daily life for that Word. That’s one of the reasons in our house the bedtime routine for our children begins with a Bible story and ends in prayer. Everyday our children need to hear from the Word of God and to spend time in prayer. (On that note, it’s important to spend personal time in prayer and Scripture study as well.)

We also try to hold regular family devotions throughout the week: a hymn together after supper, for example, and occasional services of Matins. We don’t always succeed at being as regular as we ought. In fact, as I write this, I am reminded how lax I have been in encouraging these practices in our home lately. But spending time together as a family in prayer is a vital part of “training up a child in the way he should go.” God desires a deeper relationship with us than just an hour every other Sunday; show your children that is true by making faith a regular part of your homelife.

But it’s not just about homelife, of course; you need to make church attendance a priority. You need to be there regularly with your family to hear God’s Word and receive the Sacraments. Christ comes to you with His mercy and His Word weekly. If you choose to sleep in, or let your children participate in activities that take them away from Divine Service, what does that teach them about the importance of Christ?

Explore opportunities for Christian education in the wider community too. If you can, send your children to a Lutheran school. If there isn’t a Christian school nearby, see if there’s interest in one. (My wife and I are working with other parents here in Swan River, Manitoba to explore opening a classical Christian school.) Or perhaps you might consider homeschooling and partnering with other local Christian families for larger events.

Take an interest in your child’s confirmation classes. Ask them what they’re learning. Help them with the homework. The confirmation curriculum I went through as a youth included parent participation; the time I spent with my mother and sister studying the Bible was deeply formative in my own faith walk.

This issue of The Canadian Lutheran highlights another opportunity for Lutheran children to grow in their faith: through youth ministry and youth gatherings. Michelle Heumann reports on Lutheran Church–Canada’s 2019 National Youth Gathering. Rev. Glenn Worcester, meanwhile, provides us a taste of what youth at the gathering were learning; his article “Worthless?” draws on the talks he gave as the gathering’s headline speaker, encouraging youth (and us too) to find our worth in Christ.

Help your children grow in their Christian identity. Model faith in the home. Keep them in church. Provide them with opportunities to learn more. Connect them with Christian friends. And more than any of these things, pray. Pray that God will keep your children in the faith. Pray to the Father who calls you and your children His own. Pray for wisdom to raise them as you ought.

“See what kind of love the Father has given to us,” St. John writes, “that we should be called children of God; and so we are” (1 John 3:1). God loved us so much that He was willing to sacrifice His own Son on a cross, that through the death and resurrection of Jesus we might be restored to the family of God and made fellow children with Christ of our heavenly Father. You can trust God to care for your children as if they were His own children—because they are.

You can trust God to care for your children as if they were His own children—because they are.

So do you best to be a good parent. Do you best to raise your children in the faith. But know that they have an even better Father deeply concerned for their spiritual well-being. Jesus has promised that the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to little children like yours (Mark 10:14). Trust Him to keep His promises.

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Mathew Block is editor of The Canadian Lutheran and communications manager for the International Lutheran Council.

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